sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize