it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
