How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize