Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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