I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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