just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
