oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's always time for handjobs
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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