Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
