Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
