Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
