were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
