Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
