is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
NoShamevember. You game?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
