Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
