My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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