Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
