i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize