I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
