had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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