When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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