i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
