NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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