just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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