where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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