90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
