Plan B is the new Plan A
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
