im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
