I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
