Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
