Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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