i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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