been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
