My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize