if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
