i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
