you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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