he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
