u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So much rum. So many feels.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
