Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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