Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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