I puked a lego.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
