i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I wear drunk well.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
