its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
