i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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