in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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