You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
