Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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