nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
