Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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