you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
