Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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