yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
