i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
