I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize