What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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